There are three things I am absolutely sure of. One, Kristen Stewart makes movies. She has been doing it since she was young, been doing it for years and will continue doing it until there is a massive, worldwide pandemic that wipes out all the teenage girls of the world. Two, all of her movies will gross hundreds of millions of dollars. Refer to part one for my reasoning. And finally three, all of her movies are shit. The writing is shit, the directing is shit and ABOVE ALL, the acting is complete and utter shit. Take a good script and a good director and as soon as Kristen Stewart walks on set the writer will burn the script and the director will go into what can only be described as a walking coma thereby destroying any chance of success. Well, I guess the only chance is Kristen Stewarts acting, but that possibility is just laughable.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
- Elena is being boring and dull (Whenever her personality smells likes Lysol)
- Stefan and Elena are that disgustingly affectionate high school couple you always hated
- Elena pretends to read or write, because we all know she's illiterate
- Jenna actually is in a scene
- Alaric (some guy) has a scene
- Our favorite pile of mashed potatoes is on screen
- You can feel the sexual tension between Tyler and Mrs. Lockwood
- Bonnie has low self-esteem (whenever she's on screen)
- Katherine is awesome!
- There is a flashback - And complain about how blurry everything is
- The lighting is so low you can't see what's going on
- A set is made out of Styrofoam
- That boring moonstone is mentioned - Gaah!
- Ian Somerhalder eye acts
- You miss Jasmine Guy
FINISH YOUR BEER
Whenever school is mentioned even though they haven't been there in months!
Photos and inspiration come from Price Peterson at TV.com